Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bi'atch and Gripe from the Atomic Organizer

Holy hell bells. Pull back the curtain and there are many, many things going on with the makings of Atomic Holiday Bazaar. This recent event, which just occurred a few minutes ago, takes the cake.

I came home to a voice mail from some sweet voiced gal who works for ASCAP. I thought, as I listened to her message, "ASCAP" in reference to Atomic, WTF? I mean, I trademarked the name, that's right suckers, Atomic Holiday Bazaar is trademarked. But ASCAP, The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers? What in the hell did she want with me? Ohhhh, they must want me to pay a fee for my blogs to their organization so I can own my sentiments and then if anyone wants to "lift" or appropriate my verbiage, I can sue the hell out of them. Well doesn't that make life rich?

Just kidding, I knew it wasn't that grand, but seriously what would a large organization such as ASCAP want with a f'in one day a year craft event? Huh?

Well, they want my money. As owner of the show, it lands on my lap, not my DJ's to pay for any song usage during the day of Atomic Holiday Bazaar, just mine. I began to laugh when she told me this. I asked her what the fee was and I think, (I THINK because I had just finished two glasses of wine) the ASCAP representative stated ".075" per song. Why in the hell bother then? I mean, hell if my DJ's play 5o songs and at .075 that comes to about Three Dollars. Maybe I am the village idiot and didn't do the math right. I asked her again the fee and wrote it down and then emailed her to verify that I didn't have a bunch of embroidery thread in my ears. So I will have the fee confirmed tomorrow. I then asked her what if my DJ's play only music on MySpace, unsigned, etc., and she implied "oh we have field rep's and if one is at your show and hears just one song that belongs to ASCAP's vast library" I could be sued at a fee that begins around $600.

Can you believe this shit? Sigh. So, one more thing to do on my list of one billion things to do gearing up for the show is to find it I really indeed did hear the fee per song correctly, because in that case, I think I can swing the money. Or, if I was totally deaf and it is more $$, well hell, you all may just get a stupid tap dance soft shoe shuffle that I'll put together with my troupe of Bureaucratic F' the System Tappers. We're an old bunch but we can tap the shit out of anything and you will be entertained...every pun intended!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Big Brother and Sister are watching us...and for a fee. This is only the beginning.

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